How to navigate outdated wedding traditions

During my wedding, I didn't have a traditional Kanyadaan or Vidaai, or any kind of "giving away" ceremony. I was walked down the aisle by both my parents, and we removed any portion of the wedding ceremony that suggested that I was being given away from my current family to my new one. Here's how I did this!

@arushihariani Reply to @lolz1121 #shaadi #browntiktok #weddingtips #southasian #ITriedItIPrimedIt #newlymarried #couplegoals #kanyadan #weddingplanning ♬ original sound - Arushi Hariani

Wedding Program Wording

In order to do this, we first carefully review the wording of our wedding program. A lot of wedding program templates that you'll find online will include wording such as "the groom blessed the bride by putting sindoor in her hair," or "the bride's parents offered her hand to the groom's parents." We made sure not to include this type of wording, and instead reworded these phrases to be more aligned with our beliefs and values. For example, "the groom blessed the bride by putting sindoor in her hair" became "the groom put sindoor in the bride's hair signifying his dedication to their marriage."

Pundit

Secondly, it's important to find a pundit who understands that customs and traditions are changing. We met with our pundit a few months before the wedding, and we reviewed all steps of the wedding ceremony with him. We made it known to him that this was important to us so that he could keep it in mind for the ceremony.

"Vidaai" song

Lastly, instead of having a traditional Vidaai, we added our own modern twist to it. During the Vidaai cermony, a sad song is usually played in the background as the couple exits the mandap. Most commly-used Vidaai songs are about the bride leaving her family behind. Instead of doing this, we had our DJ play a happy song, and we danced our way off of the mandap! We wanted our family and friends to celebrate our marriage with us, and there was no reason to be sad.

We still did the rituals of the Vidaai (I threw the rice behind my head, and our family and friends walked us off of the mandap), but instead of playing a sad song, we happily danced our way off of the mandap.

Here is a video of our Vidaai :)